An Open Letter to mommies with ‘aaya’

According to experts and analysts of the day, India is facing an unprecedented abundance of ‘aayas‘. And only those who do not have one know how lucky you gals are to have one.

I am a working girl (I don’t like to call myself a woman yet). I have a nanny who comes home to take care of R from 9 to 5 post which she is our responsibility. We have our hands full till the time she goes to bed. Unfortunately her bed time coincides with ours. Late …very late! But I had learned to adjust with my life because I was away from the concept of ‘aaya‘. These sweet, God-sent humans are a blessing for any new mom who is excited about parenting but does not know how many miles you would have to run behind your child till she goes to school (let me assume I am running only till then). The other amusing trait of this Supreme being is that any baby girl will be addressed ‘baby‘ and baby boy will go as ‘baba‘.

I never thought of it till I came to India with my 6 month old. She was an angel and the love from all my loved ones has turned her into a brat.

Here in India from the time I get up till the time she hits the bed for her naps, we are together. With her crawling around the house, I am shadowing her all the time . All the more since she loves to taste everything from the ground. I don’t know what her affinity is with small, tiny or sharp objects. I have to be on the  lookout for everything that comes in the  way of her mouth. One thing these babies don’t understand is boundaries….Arghh!! They don’t know that the bed is only 7 ft by 7 ft after which if they crawl they will fall. They think they can crawl in the air … Seriously baby!!!  You were a seven pounder and not a feather my love!! Where the heck is my ‘aaya‘ for my ‘baby‘ to stand guard? I wish my ears could hear ‘baby isko muh mein nahin daalte hain, baby yeh aap nahin kha sakte hain

There was a time where we could spend the entire weekend doing movie marathons at home and in the theaters. We were cinephiles. Despite our intense love for films, ‘Happy New Year’ was the first movie of the year in the theatre. This should already tell how this X and Y chromosome donors have been busy raising this brat. Oh you blessed mommies, May God Bless your ‘aayas‘.

My hands have never managed to look so masculine. Every time there is a conflict between home and parlor, home wins. Every time there is a conflict between mommy’s manicure or R’s filing of the nails, she wins. I wish you knew the perils involved in filing and cutting your little one’s nails.

Hey you ‘aayites‘  do you know how much the diaper weighs if you change it every 4 hours? Do you know that there are poop mishaps where you and your baby are both drenched in it? You ‘saas bahu‘ soap socialites will never know what a ‘baby poop’ socialite is… Alas!!! A baby poop social is where every new parent only talks about baby poop type, color and texture.

Oh and last but not the least you party socialites can hang out in one with your tots and their au pair while we baby huggers tug along with them and their diaper bags, holding them on one side and a bottle of milk on the other and enjoying your conversation of your next travel plans to Milan only because you want a break from your baby to spend some quality time with your husband…. really… what are you snorting lady?

It is 2 am in the morning and she is sleeping next to me so peacefully and there is nothing better than looking at your sleeping baby and suppressing the urge to wake her up because you know once she is up, the ‘aaya’ in you will have to get to work.

PS: All the characters that I am trying to talk about are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any person living or dead.  This is just my frustration and jealousy with the moms who have help. I don’t doubt your existence as a mother.


Stroller and Car Seat Day

This was a day when I went through a roller coster ride of emotions since I did not want to get rid of my bug and there was a slight possibility that it might happen.

Priyendra and I want to keep the bug for as long as possible. He likes it because he thinks it suits me and I like it because I feel close to it and people associate me with it. Also we wanted to do one Yosemite trip with Radha in her car sear. I know all of this sounds really lofty but there is no harm in thinking about such plans :)

After delaying the stroller shopping for a bit, we decided to go and explore options. We were pretty sure of getting a Chicco light weight stroller. We went into the store planning to explore more options but we came out with despair since there was only one stroller that would fit into the trunk of the beetle. This was a city mini GT. This stroller would fit any car seat.
We were then told about the Quinny stroller which might fit in ‘Shanno’, the bug.

Quinny fits well into the car but the Beetle turns from 4 seater to a 3 seater vehicle. Let us wait and see if Shanno stays with us for long now. We are waiting for you to sit in the Quinny, Radha!


Radha on the Dance floor :)

Yes..the little one is kicking now. I felt a very feeble kick on Diwali eve (2nd Nov, 2013) but yesterday she was all over dancing and kicking. Priyendra tried to feel one too but it was a weak one for him. Something very strange happened when we were both trying to feel her move, we think we felt her feet on the left side of the stomach. Priyendra kept feeling it but I had a very weird feeling after touching it.

Happy Happy :)


20th week Ultrasound

I must say I was a little nervous before this one. I had not seen my doctor for the last 3 weeks and Radha had not started kicking by then. I had no feedback how she was doing. But seeing her suck her thumb, open her mouth and put her hands on her face like Manoj Kumar relieved me so much.

In the ultrasound we saw her brain, her kidneys, her stomach, feet, hands and all four chambers of the heart. We also saw blood pumping into them. The radiologist showed us how the blood was going through the umbilical cord too. It was all very magical.

I told her that I had not started to feel the kicks yet and she said because I had anterior placenta which in lay man terms means that Radha had taken a backseat and her kicks would not be felt very soon.

She also showed us on my stomach where all Radha could move. She was breech then.

I think now I consider her to be so REAL :)


Trips with Radha

Till now Radha has been a very co-operative kid and enjoyed her road trips. I think she likes travelling just like us :)

Radha’s first trip was to Yellowstone National Park with her Masi, Bua and cousins. This was during the 10th week.

Her second trip was with her parents to Mammoth Lakes. This was during the 15th week.

Her third trip was to meet her soon-to-come-into-the-world-friend, baby Raizada :) This happened when she was about 18 weeks old.

She has enjoyed all her trips and has been trying to come out in all the pictures a little. Although she was totally hidden in Yellowstone pictures.

Cannot wait to travel with you when you are here :)



It is a girl guys!!!! It is going to be grey and pink now :) I had thought of themes and I have a few bookmarked pages on how I want Radha’s nook to look like. Hopefully I can get all the things done soon so that I can enjoy her nook before she arrives :)

Priyendra has been all excited. He is already imagining Radha with a guitar and a little punk-ish :):)


Waiting on Harmony Test…

We got our DNA Harmony test done on the 16th and we were to get the results in 7 days. We are still waiting on the results!!!

I called up the clinic on 24th and they told me that they have not received the results. So I called up Labcorp and they said they just had an order for a blood test and did not receive any order for the Harmony test. I called up the clinic back and the receptionist said ” Oh! I do see that the Submit button for your order was not clicked”. Now this is quite sad that the office staff does not do their work professionally. Last year too they gave me problems with the test results and I had to go back and forth between the lab and the clinic and it turned out that the fax machine at the clinic was not working. So one party would send the result but the other one would not receive it. Now how ridiculous is this!

Yesterday I called the lab again to find out if they had received the order from the clinic or not. The kind and patient lady told me that they had sent the results to the clinic on the 17th itself. Ohh no!!! I cannot deal with the two parties now. She confirmed if their fax was working or not. I would have called the clinic again but I told her about the situation that how on Tuesday someone said that they had not received the order for a Harmony Test. She kept me on hold for about 20 minutes and came back saying ” Aah!!! I see yours is going to be a more specialized test and it will take about 8-10 business days. We should sent the results back to the clinic by 30th.”

It is in vain to get upset with the staff from either the clinic or the lab. The best thing is to wait and I have become good at that seems like!


Bhalla ka Halla…Masha Allah!!

We went in for our second appointment today (16th Sept) to hear the heart beat. The doctor took about 20 seconds to find the heart beat and all through those 20 seconds I was not beating most likely :) and then I saw him smile and murmur here it is :)

It sounded more like a table fan working. Priyendra joked that Surabhi could use this as Spinning 4 :)

We recorded the heartbeat. We also got an anti-oxidant analysis done. Apparently this is a very new test which was introduced on Dr. Oz and tests the level of anti oxidants in the mothers body. If it is less then they give you supplements for the next few months. I was in a reasonable range but the test professional pushed me to take supplements. We anyhow declined since we thought it was not needed as I was having 3-4 servings of fruits and vegetables during the day.

Today we also got the DNA test done and unfortunately I had to give away some more of my blood for the testing. I have given away a lot of my valuable blood for so many tests now. So this time again I saw the needle sucking up my blood to get some genetic testing done and also to know the gender of the baby :)

Yes I will know the gender by next week. Another post to soon follow :)


First Ultra sound

We told everyone at home and they are all excited about the baby too.

We went in early for our ultrasound so that we could know how the baby was growing and also if we could go to Yellowstone. Our doctor told us that we are good to go and at 8 weeks and 3 days the baby was 1.8 cm long and was beating at 172 bpm. Now that we knew that the baby was inside, we christened it (for the time being) Bhalla Sahaab.

We were allowed to go to Yellowstone and it was a wonderful time with family.

Baby Jainwals first photo

Baby Jainwals first photo