An Open Letter to mommies with ‘aaya’

According to experts and analysts of the day, India is facing an unprecedented abundance of ‘aayas‘. And only those who do not have one know how lucky you gals are to have one.

I am a working girl (I don’t like to call myself a woman yet). I have a nanny who comes home to take care of R from 9 to 5 post which she is our responsibility. We have our hands full till the time she goes to bed. Unfortunately her bed time coincides with ours. Late …very late! But I had learned to adjust with my life because I was away from the concept of ‘aaya‘. These sweet, God-sent humans are a blessing for any new mom who is excited about parenting but does not know how many miles you would have to run behind your child till she goes to school (let me assume I am running only till then). The other amusing trait of this Supreme being is that any baby girl will be addressed ‘baby‘ and baby boy will go as ‘baba‘.

I never thought of it till I came to India with my 6 month old. She was an angel and the love from all my loved ones has turned her into a brat.

Here in India from the time I get up till the time she hits the bed for her naps, we are together. With her crawling around the house, I am shadowing her all the time . All the more since she loves to taste everything from the ground. I don’t know what her affinity is with small, tiny or sharp objects. I have to be on the  lookout for everything that comes in the  way of her mouth. One thing these babies don’t understand is boundaries….Arghh!! They don’t know that the bed is only 7 ft by 7 ft after which if they crawl they will fall. They think they can crawl in the air … Seriously baby!!!  You were a seven pounder and not a feather my love!! Where the heck is my ‘aaya‘ for my ‘baby‘ to stand guard? I wish my ears could hear ‘baby isko muh mein nahin daalte hain, baby yeh aap nahin kha sakte hain

There was a time where we could spend the entire weekend doing movie marathons at home and in the theaters. We were cinephiles. Despite our intense love for films, ‘Happy New Year’ was the first movie of the year in the theatre. This should already tell how this X and Y chromosome donors have been busy raising this brat. Oh you blessed mommies, May God Bless your ‘aayas‘.

My hands have never managed to look so masculine. Every time there is a conflict between home and parlor, home wins. Every time there is a conflict between mommy’s manicure or R’s filing of the nails, she wins. I wish you knew the perils involved in filing and cutting your little one’s nails.

Hey you ‘aayites‘  do you know how much the diaper weighs if you change it every 4 hours? Do you know that there are poop mishaps where you and your baby are both drenched in it? You ‘saas bahu‘ soap socialites will never know what a ‘baby poop’ socialite is… Alas!!! A baby poop social is where every new parent only talks about baby poop type, color and texture.

Oh and last but not the least you party socialites can hang out in one with your tots and their au pair while we baby huggers tug along with them and their diaper bags, holding them on one side and a bottle of milk on the other and enjoying your conversation of your next travel plans to Milan only because you want a break from your baby to spend some quality time with your husband…. really… what are you snorting lady?

It is 2 am in the morning and she is sleeping next to me so peacefully and there is nothing better than looking at your sleeping baby and suppressing the urge to wake her up because you know once she is up, the ‘aaya’ in you will have to get to work.

PS: All the characters that I am trying to talk about are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any person living or dead.  This is just my frustration and jealousy with the moms who have help. I don’t doubt your existence as a mother.